Donor Conceived People Oppose Washington State’s Uniform Parentage Act (SB 6037)

By KATY FAUST – This violates the universally-acknowledged children’s right to be known and loved, whenever possible, by both genetic parents.

SB 6037 normalizes the destruction of the biological parent/child relationship. That is a violation of the universally-acknowledged children’s right to be known and loved, whenever possible, by both genetic parents.  A biological relationship with parents matters to children because it gives them the two adults who are the most likely to be protective of, attached to, and invested in them. It also grants children the biological identity that all humans crave. While it is sometimes impossible to be raised by both biological parents, those situations are tragic for children and shouldn’t be intentionally replicated through reproductive technologies.

Many donor-conceived adults are now speaking out against third-party reproduction and surrogacy because:

It treats children as commodities to be shopped for, purchased, and sold

I am told, look how much your parents wanted you, they planned and saved to have you… When you know that a huge part of the reason that you came into the world is due solely to a paycheck, and that after being paid you are disposable, given away and never thought of again, it impacts how you view yourself. –Jessica Kern (Child of Surrogacy)

I don’t care why my parents or my mother did this. It looks to me like I was bought and sold. You can dress it up with as many pretty words as you want… But the fact is that someone has contracted you to make a child, give up your parental rights and hand over your flesh and blood child. When you exchange something for money it is called a commodity. Babies are not commodities. Babies are human beings. –Brian C (Child of Surrogacy)

…being “wanted” can sometimes feel like a curse, like I was created to make you happy, my rights be damned. I’d be lying if I said I never felt commodified. – Bethany

I have to live everyday with the full knowledge that I’m the product of a eugenic science experiment; – Nicholas Isel

I knew from an early age that I was purchased and selected from essentially a catalog. I knew that my blonde hair and blue eyes was somehow valued above other colorations—because my mother never fell in love with my father, he was never a full human being to her only a handful of breeding details. I always knew that I was purchased and created precisely to make her happy, that was my raison d’etre. – Alana Newman

It denies children a relationship with one/both biological parents and extended family  

“Donor-conceived” is a clumsy term, because, in relation to me, the man in the clinic was not a donor. He is, or was, my father, but by co-operating with my artificial conception, he deprived me forever of the possibility of knowing him. I do not know his name, what he looks like, what his personality is, what his voice sounds like. I do not know my paternal grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my cousins. – Elizabeth Howard

After the shock of “losing” my dad, I realized that there was a man out there who I did look like who fathered me. I then began to mourn the loss of a man who I never even knew existed until a few weeks earlier… Who was he? Did he ever think about me? – Stephanie Blessing

I was shocked to find out what a huge number of donor conceived half siblings I probably have living near me.  At least 20, maybe over 50.  It is painful to know that I likely won’t ever even know most of their names, let alone get to meet them.  They are unlikely to have been told they were donor conceived.  I love them and miss them without even knowing them. –Ellie

It robs children of biological identity and medical history and kinship bonds.

The practice of “donor conception” left me with this tangible feeling of the ground constantly shifting under my feet, a never ending stream of trust issues and a lost kinship with the first male role model in my young adult life. – Nicholas Isel

When I hit school I started to realize through observing other children and their loving bonds with their fathers that I was missing out on something special.  I was lied to throughout school; I was told I didn’t have a father… it was very difficult for me to affirm a stable identity. And my behavioral and emotional stability suffered greatly because of it…  – Millie Fontana

I was conceived by anonymous donor conception in the early 1970’s. I have since won a high court test case in England against the practice of anonymous donation and written a PhD on the topic, demonstrating in many ways why this practice is wrong. To intentionally deprive a person of their personal medical, cultural information and kinship is beyond reckless. To have our government’s and medical practices condoning it is even more unconscionable. Empathy for those who are childless must not become one-eyed and one-sided. Future generations need to be protected from the needy-combining-with big industry. If left to their own devices, this results in the wholesale ransacking and plundering from what should not be for sale or forsaken, from those who can’t yet speak.  -Dr. Johanna Rose

The largest study on outcomes for donor conceived childrenMy Daddy’s Name is Donor, reveals that, on average, young adults conceived through sperm donation are hurting more, are more confused, and feel more isolated from their families. They fare worse than their peers raised by biological parents on important outcomes such as depression, delinquency, and substance abuse. Moreover, the study found that:

  • Two-thirds agree, “My sperm donor is half of who I am;”
  • About half are disturbed that money was involved in their conception;
  • Over half say when they see someone who resembles them they wonder if they are related;
  • Nearly half say they have feared being attracted to or having sexual relations with someone to whom they are unknowingly related;
  • Two-thirds affirm the right of donor offspring to know the truth about their origins;
  • About half of donor offspring have concerns about or serious objections to donor
    conception itself, even when parents tell their children the truth.

Very simply, SB 6037 puts Washington State’s stamp of approval on the commodification of children, and the loss of their right to both biological parents. As one donor-conceived woman puts it, “This is not a new way of creating families, it’s a new way of ripping them apart.

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Katy Faust

Marriage advocate because of children's rights. Founder of ThemBeforeUs.com, Leader at CanaVox.com. We can disagree, but it isn't bigotry.

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